I am not JMW Turner.

First faltering steps towards a new skill, keep falling over and scraping my knee on the road to watercolouring. Bugger, can't do this, not making any progress, can't do it!

Feeling a bit sorry for myself, even though finally my back is actually healing and the grand canyon is looking more like a medium sized ravine. Oh and the pus is nearly gone. And yesterday I went to my oldest friend, Sapphire's funeral in Stapleford in Nottingham. Cried at the words spoken by her closest friends and family. So many people loved and were loved by her and she saved so many people with her ability to see sensible solutions to people's distress and problems. A rare person who was able to touch so many people without being eaten alive by their problems. It was a beautiful service and I am very glad I got to say good bye to her. Miss you Sapphire, always will. You will be part of my life forever, you taught me how to want to stay in the world.

Not sure where I am going with today's post, partly it was to distract me from the painting that I'm waiting to dry, other wise I'll mess it up, and partly to say how I'm feeling today. A little happy and a little bit sad. I'm of an age now where I am starting to lose friends and relatives on a fairly, sadly, regular basis and I don't like it, can it stop now? Along with people dying, friends have moved to Australia, and others have drifted or stomped out of my life. I feel a little bereft recently and I'm not sure how to pick myself up and get on with my life and make new friends. Not sure I want new friends, I'd like the old ones back, with maybe one or 2 exceptions, can I have my old friends back? Please. Oh better not ask, I remember the tale of the Monkey's Paw. Edgar Allen Poe, be careful what you wish for, you may just get it. Bugger.

The Small Faces on my Media player and the wind blowing through my open window, why am I being so maudlin? Stop it now Sam and get on with some work. You can do it so just stop being lazy/mardy/scared.

Just had a quick tidy up, cleared the clutter, feeling better and ready to go for it again. Maybe I'll get it eventually.

And discovered Somefield Ginger Beer doesn't go with anything at all. It's vile. Never again!