Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Flatness

One of the side effects of the first few weeks of being on Prozac is the feeling of emotional flatness, the numbness that comes about 7-10 days in and stays for about 3-4 weeks. I'm now on day 11 and it arrived on Monday, knocked me off my feet and made me stay in bed pretty much all day yesterday.

I am tired but not sleepy, disinterested but bored, hungry but not bothered about food and I feel like crying but haven't the energy to create tears.

I really hate the detached feeling that I have and will continue to have for the next few weeks. The only thing that makes it even slightly bearable is knowing it is not permanent, that it will evaporate overnight in about 3 or 4 weeks. I'll just wake up and feel good, and it won't be fake feeling good, no brittleness, just happiness.

I've just finished making a cushion cover for my friend Pat to put in her Camper van. I love making things for friends, and feel like it makes a connection for me at times when I struggle to connect with people. It has given me the impetus to do more textiles, and I have a yen to create a quilt, a story of some kind, but as yet it is an unformed idea. I will post as and when it begins to form. To keep you all occupied, here's a pic of the cushion cover in process.