Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Closing of the Year

I'm not normally one who ponders the changing of the year and the people who have come and gone through the year, but this year I seem to be feeling it.

This year has seen so many changes in my life.

I've gone from working full time, owning my own home, feeling secure and knowing what I want to do with my life through the whole gamut of losing almost everything.

I lost my home, first because in order to be safe from harassment and violence.

I lost my job because all of the stress involved with the harassment left me a nervous and emotional wreck.

i lost my security because I am always looking over my shoulder wondering if the people who had threatened me and my darling son were following me, had found me. I became paranoid and anxious, almost agoraphobic.

Now, because I had to change my plans, because I couldn't keep up the payments on my house, because all I had worked for and put money into was gone, I am facing the prospect of not being able to go to university to complete my degree. I've applied, but I have no idea how I will pay for it.

This is not to say I'm going to give up. I'm not the sort to just sit back and let the world walk all over me and not try to pick myself up and move on. I am more determined than ever to do what I planned to do. Finish my degree at Glasgow, to go on to do a Therapy MA and become an Art Therapist, helping people find comfort and growth in art, to use art and the creative process as a healing tool. If it works for me, it will work for anyone, because if there is one thing that this year really has taught me is that art is my saviour, my passion, my reason for being. Without it I would not have survived this year, and I certainly wouldn't be looking forward to all the positive things that are going to come my way next year.

2011 here i come, stronger, brighter and more powerful than ever before, because I have only one direction to go. UP!


sukipoet said...

many blessings to you as you pursue your dream. it sounds like a wonderful thing to do for yourself and for others. i am glad the pain and sorrow is behind you. May the year ahead be a beautiful year.

Lynn said...

First let me commend your courage to move on! Bravo! This cannot have been easy and yet you are overcoming all these many obsticles that have made life difficult this year for you.
I think you know that I am a therapsit (mental health) and so I applaud your wanting to become an art therapist. How I wish I'd know I had an artist hiding inside me 20 year ago when I started my practice. I'd love to have studied to be an art therapist. I know you will succeed at this and eventually have a home to call your own as well. And all of these life experience as hard as they have been simply add to your arsenal that you will draw from to help others in the not so distant future.
Best wishes for the NEW year!