Dreadful Day

What a rubbish day.

Hospital appointment in the morning for my thyroid check up, and basically to be told I no longer needed to be seeing the consultant, thyroid is shrinking back to normal size and thyroxin levels are stable. Simple? ha ha not that easy. I waited for over and hour on chairs that were designed to extract confessions from suspected terrorists, asked if they had any idea how long I would be delayed, and was told nothing. I was so stressed and in pain by the time an hour had gone by I had a massive strop in the middle of the waiting room. Not good.

Then I had to go to the Job Centre for a pathways to work interview. Bearing in mind I am unable to work at the moment because of stress, depression PTSD and a slipped disc, I was wondering what kind of work they were going to suggest I do.

I hate going to the job centre, it is full of people, it is stressful to be around so many people I don't know and can't predict. I have panic attacks but I have to stay there otherwise I have my benefits taken away, which means I have no money, which also makes me panic and stressed. Vicious circle.

I do have to say the lovely Stephen at the job centre was very sympathetic, kind and helpful. Even suggesting other benefits I am entitled to. That's the kindest thing an official has done for me in a while. Thanks Stephen.

And then I had bad news about a friend of mine. The worst news, and I am lost in that feeling devastated, angry and sorry. I can't even go and visit her as the hospital is a busy unfamiliar place. I'm worried that I'll have a panic attack and upset her family. I'm worried I won't get to see her. I'm caught up in a whirl of fear. And I can't find a way out.

This is the reality of my life at the moment. Fear, regrets and frustration. I want to be better, and I know I can get better, but at the moment it's just not happening fast enough.

Just a Quick Message

To the people who are anonymously asking me to post links, upload widgets and various other spamming messages and comments on my blog, please stop. Anonymous massages are deleted, I do not post random stuff on my blog just because someone has asked me to, and I don't look at links if I don't know their origin.

Stop wasting yours and my time.

Completion 2

Finally finished the collage portrait of Janet and 2 more small collages just for fun.



Tomorrow I'm getting the travelling sketchbook pages out and getting them done! Woop woop!

Nearly There

I've got another day's work on this and then its done. I sure hope it is accepted for the open exhibition I've done it for!

Completion

Finished one.


One more to go.

Addition

More collage and something I'm surprsed by.


And this has surprised me, as I wasn't sure if I could make collage work for portraiture.

Submission

For the first time I am producing a piece of work specifically for an open exhibition. I'm nervous, I think I'm not doing something that is any good, and I'm worried I'll not get it finished in time.

Here are some progress pics.


I'll post more as it progresses and nears completion.

Sharing space

I made an early start to the day today, in the studio by 8.30. Almost unheard of these days.

I was lucky to have visitors too, Michelle, Lea and Jamie, all of us playing with collage and creating some fabulous things with glue and tissue paper.

I came home by 6pm feeling shattered and ready to flop on the settee in front of the tv. But incredibly pleased with what I have achieved today.

One of the finished pages from the collage sketchbook.



There are more things to show, but I only took one photo today.