Less Fatigued

Woke up early, not by choice. Had to answer an urgent text from a place I have been temping at. They, sadly were desperate for someone to cover today, but I was too tired to do the shift and needed to spend the day working on finishing things off in preparation for getting to work on the finished piece for my college project. I needed to clear the decks have a proper tidy and learn how to finish things properly. Yeah, right!

I promptly fell back to sleep after answering the text so all that extra time got wasted, but I do feel less tired and somewhat refreshed from the extra sleep, even though my back still isn't improving as quickly as i would like, but at least I am down to just taking pain relief in the morning and not needing it for the whole day. Good sign of definite improvement.

So far today I have made 2 cushion covers. Won't post pics as these are gifts and I don't want to spoilt surprises. I will be making another 3 soon, but I'm just having a brain break. I'm feeling rather creative today, I've tidied my studio and feel fresh and energetic ready to make more things for friends, and for sale to strangers, or people I barely know. It feels good to make stuff and sell it for a small profit. I feel like I am really making something worthwhile. The small pleasures people get for things I make gives me a glow inside that cannot be replaced with a salary from a boss who barely knows your name and bills all up to date. Don't get me wrong, I like to get the bills paid, I just don't like the soul destroying day job life. Too little time for anything else.

When i am working in my studio I listen to the radio, usually radio 1, but today R6. The news is on at the moment and the first bits were about death. When will bad news come to an end? I find it so difficult when I am feeling this vulnerable to cope with bad news and often just switch off.

I think Josh is now home, so I'd better go and wash the dishes and make toad in the hole for tea. With creamy mashed potatoes and steamed curly kale.

Oh and I've been writing my good recipes down, so eventually some of them will find their way onto here I'm almost certain.

Post Christmas fatigue

I'm tired, I worked all day yesterday, not physically tiring, but emotionally, intellectually and socially. today I made a Christmas present in about 15 minutes flat, with Josh's help. He stuffed the draught excluder that i made from some fluffy cow fabric I had in a drawer. A joint effort of a Christmas present. That was fun. It's the first present we've made together. It may be the last, he is a less than enthusiastic helper when it comes to things like that.

Went to my friend Janet's for Boxing Day lunch, which was, as ever, superb. Janet is a wonderful cook, who has the knack of producing very simple food which is harder than it sounds. I always enjoy food there. Me and josh left after a couple of hours because Janet was very tired. By the time we got home I realised that I too was very tired. Working for a day makes me so tired I need a day's rest to get over it, but when I am in my studio for days on end I don't feel the same level of fatigue. Why is that?

I've been making and creating a lot of the past few days, trying to make things for everyone I know and love for Christmas. Not got everything done, but everyone will have something home made and completely personal for the season, be they Christmas celebrants or solstice worshippers. No matter, I love you all.

I think I will stop with the soppy telling every one that I love them, someone always feels uncomfortable with it. Usually me.

There is little point to this post today, mostly because of my tiredness, and backache, which isn't resolving in the way it normally does. I think i seriously pulled a muscle in my back and Helen is not here now to fix it with her magic hands, and I'm pretty sure she won't travel from Aus to fix it for me, much as she loves me.

This Christmas has been tiring for a lot of reasons.

Not got a job and doing whatever work comes along to make ends meet.

Worrying about whether I can pay my bills and college fees next year.

Missing Sapphire, who I lost in August this year.

Missing Helen and Leo who moved to Australia in the summer and I'm wondering if I'll ever see them again because its such a long way away and so expensive to get to, but maybe the universe will smile on me.

Still missing my mum. Three years on. Will that ever change?

Worrying about my friend Debbie, who will be in hospital for a while, wanting her to be well and knowing that there simply is not enough time to say how much she means to me as a friend in all the ways I'd love to say and feeling impotent about her illness. I wish, I wish, I wish I could fix her. And her I know the universe cannot grant this wish. Bugger.

Time got away from me and I've no idea where it went. it's always the same.

Wondering where that cup of tea is that Josh is meant to be making.

My usual preoccupations and obsessions, Face book, Twitter, new books, unfinished projects and new techniques with fabric.

I'm wondering whee I'm going with this post, and I've just realised, I'm too tired to make sense, so i abdicate all responsibility for the nonsense posting that is coming and I'll just carry on with this stream of barely consciousness.

One thing I want to say is to wish everyone a great new year and that all of their wishes wants and needs come true, go to the doctors if you are worried about anything, don't put it off. Give your children a hug and tell them you love them, they are beautiful and wonderful and you are proud of them. Take the dog out for a walk, stroke the cat, phone your Granny, commit a random act of kindness and eat a big fat cake all to yourself at least once this year, but make sure you eat your veggies too.

I'm off to bed soon I think.

Sleepy.

Last minute Christmas

I'm not one for buying presents, being very poverty stricken and a complete tight wad, so I make them. But I've had a busy year. So I'm kind of doing the presents today. All day today. On Christmas Eve. All day on Christmas Eve. And i have to go to bed very early today because I'm working all day tomorrow. Maybe I should've planned better.

To all who get their presents after Xmas, sorry about the delay, but I am a born procrastinator and had loads of other stuff to get done and time just gets away from me. I'll be better organised next year, promise. OK you got me I promised this last year, but honestly I mean it this time.

So for those who know and love me, and you have to love me if you know me, if you don't get your pressie for crimbo, it is in the making and you will get it before next Christmas.

Love you all.

XX

Followers

When I started blogging it was just somewhere for me to vent how I was feeling about things and wasn't intended to be a public thing. But hen something strange started to happen, and people started to follow me. Firstly my friends, and now I have followers who I don't know personally. This was initially very strange for me, but now I really like the idea that people may actually find my ravings entertaining.

To those who read and follow me, welcome, pull up a chair, the kettle is on, and the cake will be out of the oven in about 5 minutes. Leave a comment when you visit and I'll almost certainly respond to it, I love to chat.

Jumping on the bandwagon.

So here we are again, nearly at Christmas, and no money, no presents, and a pappy number 1 single. Except, hang on, could it be????? RATM at number 1. What the xfactor didn't take the number 1 single? I'm not dreaming, it isn't a hallucination. Rage against the machine is number 1.

YEAHEY!!!!!!WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP!

I cannot express the joy and excitement I feel for the first time in years I am actually excited by the music scene. I am happy about the number 1 single and surprised by the outcome.

Of course it still leaves the prospect of a totally skint Christmas and no presents. Ideas anyone?

Late Night Creativity

I made a handbag.

I've never done anything like this before.

I'm supposed o be making books, or sleeping.

So now I have to decide if it is a Christmas present or if I should keep it for myself, which is tempting, or sell it.

Help?

What am I like 5

Had a really good week, rediscovering the joy of dry point etching. In learning lots of different, exciting, intricate and complex methods of producing a printable plate, I forgot about the first technique I learned.

A light touch is needed, but heavy lines have a strong value and areas can be scored out completely to have blackness like no other plate can give. Things can be stuck on top to give texture, and textures from all kinds of materials can be impressed into the dry point board to create effects and textures not seen in other plates.

Here are a few of the plates and prints I have succeeded with, from the very beginning.

This was part of my self portrait project from last year. I only printed this twice, as we were looking at lots of different techniques and needed to move onto the next fairly quickly.

I love the cross hatching and the sparseness of the line.






This was part of the cutlery project that nearly sent me insane, but I like the colours I used on this print and the clarity of the lines. It was a very simple print which worked really well. Then we didn't do any more dry points, moving on to etching and collagraphs, which were OK but have to be worked at to produce a good print.







This is the first plate for the new project, What Am I Like? I started this at home as I only have facilities to produce dry point and collagraphs at home, and don't have access to etching equipment here. I will do next year though. I love the quirky perspective and the deep dark blacks.








This is really not my usual style or subject matter, preferring the darker scarier dead kind of subjects. But it's one of my cats, Thunder, taken from some sketches I had done for the new project. I love the lightness of the lines and the way that using dry point I can vary the strength of the lines without too much effort.








This is the plate for the as the print is still drying. My dog, Gaspode. He of the squidgy face and the desperate need for love and attention.










The rest of these are as yet unprinted, and vary in size from A4 size down to about 3 inch squares. When I have prints from these I'll post them with the next update.

This one is Gaia, she of the yip yip yippee and the anteater tongue.






This is the Chaos monster and I don't think I need to describe a cat with that name!














Mantelpiece details








Floor details









More mantelpiece details.









Sorry that this is such an image heavy post. But I just really enjoy playing with dry point at the moment and I wanted to share, I'm nice like that.

Unmitigated disasters 3

Well, strictly speaking tonight wasn't a disaster. Verdon Street Rec centre was open, had a real member of staff there, who stayed the whole time, the kitchen was open, I had a model and there was heat.

None of the annoying little twerps from last week even attempted to get into the building, but they were playing coin toss outside, and were too afraid once they realised who I was to actually do anything. One or two comments about the fat nuddie woman and things like that as I walked past them. Ok so if you're scared of me naked, be really afraid when I'm dressed!

The model turned up, well prepared and looking wonderful and beautiful to behold.

Only 2 people turned up to draw, but on the upside the wonderful Aislinn didn't charge me the rent, I think she felt a bit sorry for me, only having 2 people in the class with me. I don't mind because the 2 who turned up were 2 of the people who came last time, so good news all round. It can't get any worse. My natural optimism says, next year, all being well, if we can keep the oiks away, we may well get more people coming to life drawing at Verdon Street.

Fingers crossed.

Toes crossed.

Touch wood.

And whatever else you can think of to bring good luck.

I'm giving it 3 months to such the money out of my wallet, and if it isn't breaking even by then I'm calling it a day.

So what I want to know now is, what's your excuse for not coming? It better be really good.