Taking The Plunge

I'm snowed in. I am totally stuck in the house, mainly because the car is out there, somewhere under the snow that has blessed us here in Sheffield, and because I can't walk a long way because of my dodgy back, and there is almost no public transport running. I am here, at home, alone, bored and pretty much climbing the walls with boredom.

As a release from the boredom, I decided to have a look at website deals. You know the kind, build your own from templates, basic ones that don't quite do what you want them to do but near enough for now.

So now I have a website.

It is a bit dull at the moment, but will improve as I get more confident and better at changing the things I want to change without having to pay more each month. It also includes a gallery and I can add a paypal button if I want, although I am happy just for people to email me if they want anything.

I feel really proud of myself for finally taking the plunge and getting it off the ground. It all adds to the concept of professional artist!

the link is at the side of the blog, called, appropriately enough My Website. Take a look, then let me know what I should add to make it better, more interesting and perhaps even something you'd look at regularly.

Its been a while

I've not posted for a couple of weeks, which isn't really like me, I can always find something to moan on about for a few lines.

I was lucky enough to be invited down to Colchester to meet some very wonderful people and stay in a gorgeous cottage with friends, old and new.

I was taken repeatedly out of my comfort zone, into the town to shop, to an art gallery I'd never been to, to a kennels to meet loads of dogs, all of which I wanted to take home, and to cook real food to be enjoyed by real people. I had a chilled out, completely wonderful time.

I spent a morning taking photos of Sharon and her son Rowan, whose house we stayed at, and I am pleased to say I managed to get some really nice pictures. These will be posted later when Sharon has had chance to look at them.

Spending that time being chilled and being cared for made me realise how far from well I am, and how far I have to go to get better, but it also gave me a glimpse of what I used to be like, when I was well and how I will be again. It was good for me in all ways, healing, supportive and helping me look to future and know that I really do have one.

Thank you Sharon and Rowan for sharing your home and the rest of your family, Linda, Rick, Kelly and Tony for taking the time to meet me and inviting me to the dogs, and for eating the Sunday roast dinner. I promise there will be another bread and butter pudding next time I come over.

More ipod Pics

This is the first life drawing attempt. The app I used is called brushes, and has layers like on Photoshop, but not the filters, so not as versatile, but certainly great for such a portable device.






This is the 2nd, where I enlarged the page as much as I could, but then went and lost a decent starting point, hence the odd positioning.











This is painting number 3. I used the layers to some effect, but wasn't sure I was actually drawing the model or playing and working from memory!

First iPod drawing

Here is the first ipod drawing using Brushes, the app I downloaded tonight.

This is so cool.

If.....

If you had your life again, what would you change?

If you were able to amend your history and make your life different would you?

If you could be well, overnight and have no illness, no depression, no problems or disabilities would you accept the cure?

If you could have a perfect life would you want it?

My answer to all of these is a resounding clear and definite NO!

Why?

Because my talent is a response to hardship, creativity is the way I have survived my life. Without it I would just be one of the 'normal people'.

Without art, without creativity, without the joy that this brings would I not be just as unhappy in the mainstream regular world, doing a normal job, paying a mortgage, having a husband, or wife, raising kids and going to Ibiza on out holidays every year.

Would not my soul die a little living the mundane life of the undamaged, the ordinary, the normal.

Yes my life is hard. It is a struggle on a daily basis with fear, depression, self harm and anxiety. But at the same time I deal with these fears by being creative. Painting, drawing, stitching and writing. The ideas are sometimes easy, but the execution is hard, a battle with the medium and the world. Other times the work comes out easily, and is a cathartic experience at times when I am not doing so well.

If getting well means losing my urge to create, I'll stay ill. It gives me a reason for my life. And without purpose what are we?

Development

As I go to life drawing most weeks, I end up with huge numbers of drawings of people. I have always had ideas about what to do, but mostly have never quite known how to execute them or how to move things on.

I'm getting better at this as time and my course move on, but occasionally it is still a struggle.

The recent drawings I've done at life class are a case in point. They are interesting, strange and in some cases lovely, what do I do with them?

One of them in particular was ripe for development and so I chose to turn it into a lino cut and see what came of it. Here are some of the results.

So in order:

1. The original drawing

2. Print on to black origami paper

3. Print onto bleached and dyed tissue paper

4. The reverse of the tissue paper print

5. A greetings card made from the print.

I want to do some further work on this plate and the printing, adding some background texture and detail perhaps, and creating something multi layered. Possibly over printing and reduction printing. But whatever I choose to do, the initial prints are looking very promising even though I say so myself.

More Drawings

Not much to say here are the no look one line drawing I did last week. I really like this technique and it feels good to work like this.

I tried to download more of these but my internet connection is playing up a bit. More later when I got home and have a reliable one!

Surprise Results

Recently I have been trying a new way of looking and drawing. This started as many new ways of working do for me, with the idea that I was going to have a bad week at life drawing. This time, however, it was because I was helping to run it rather than having a bad weekend and being unsure of my ability to do anything.

Now on the weeks where I think I'm not gong to be able to focus or do anything worthwhile I generally try something new. In my twisted logic this is a GOOD IDEA. I'm not stressed that I must produce something really good, in fact I am relaxed and have no expectations of producing anything. And Hey Presto! I usually draw or paint something really exciting. The past couple of weeks have not disappointed.

The new idea I've been trying is drawing the model without looking at the paper. Keeping my eyes on the model tracing the lines and contours of her body or face and allowing my hand to follow that movement on the paper.

Not as easy as it sounds. The temptation to look is at times very difficult to resist and you don't always get a result that you like, but then sometimes you do, you get something quite lovely.

Here are some examples of what I did the first week, and I will post more when I've scanned them in.